


feel your heartbeat across the grass

by myownremedy



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Gen, Minor Character Death, Shippy Gen, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-03-14
Packaged: 2017-12-05 07:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/720176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myownremedy/pseuds/myownremedy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But what Kirk wants to know is, could anyone have saved Spock's mother?</p>
            </blockquote>





	feel your heartbeat across the grass

**Author's Note:**

> for lindsey. Unbeta'd, my b. Title from the song I Still Remember by the Bloc Party.  
> Spoilers for all of the movie Star Trek, sorry about that.  
> I didn't write in Chekov's accent (though his accent in the movie is really more polish than russian hm...) so feel free to imagine that.  
> disclaimer: none of this is true, this is fictional, I don't own Star Trek, no copyright infringement intended.  
> edit (4-13-15): this is a transformative work. I make no money off of it. I do not own what inspired this work (Star Trek), but I do own this work itself and hold full copyright over it. Thank you.

Spock appears with his hand outstretched and an expression of horror made ghastly by the white light of the beamer, and Pavel’s words are echoing in Kirk’s ears: _I’m losing her, I’m losing her!_

_I lost her._

Kirk turns, not knowing what to do, looks from Spock to Pavel, who is bent over his desk like if he tries hard enough he can become one with the offending machinery, can fix it from the inside out.

There’s a hole in Vulcan and it’s trying to consume the Enterprise; they flee and Pavel is still looking blankly at the machinery, Spock unable to comfort him, Kirk unable to figure out what to do.

 

*

Later, he remembers – later, when Pike is under the care of Bones and they’ve escaped, left Nero to suffer and the hole to spread and eat the stars.

Kirk sits in his chair and watches Pavel, the way the man is hunched over the comm. Kirk watches him and sees his father.

His father, who is all too alive today; Kirk thinks about lightning storms and sacrifices, thinks about how Pike was only doing his duty and how easily everything could have duplicated, how parents are always lost and children are always left abandoned.

How people always suffer.

“Chekov,” he says, standing from the chair, nodding to Sulu, to Spock, trying to tell them that they’re in charge and feeling gratified when they know – already the machine is working, is rolling.

The young man snaps to attention, sees Kirk and comes over, reluctant, dragging, like a puppy who knows it’s about to be spanked.

“Walk me to the medical bay,” Kirk orders, limps out of the Bridge and remembers the blood on his face, his smashed fingers and his broken ribs.

“Sir?” Chekov says, and grabs Kirk’s elbow when he sways.

“I might fall over,” is all Kirk manages and remembers, oddly, Bones saying _I might throw up on you._

 

They walk through the halls, take the elevator and Kirk tries to form his thoughts into something that makes sense.

“My father,” he says finally, “was the captain of a Star Fleet ship for 12 minutes. He saved 800 lives. He didn’t manage to save his own.”

Chekov looks at him, quick, his face unreadable.

“He was a great man.” Kirk forces himself to continue. “Sometimes, great men make mistakes. Spock is a great man – you tell him I said that and I’ll have your head. He makes a lot of mistakes, because he’s too set in his ways, but he’s a great man.”

They come to a stop before the medical bay, and Kirk turns to look at Chekov, whose eyes are a queer shade of grey and whose lip is trembling.

“They told me you ran through the hallways to beam us up. You saved my life, and Sulu’s. You managed to beam up Spock and the rest of the Vulcans. His mother was falling. The gravitational pull was incredible. There was no way you could have saved her. You have made the mistake of thinking you could have.”

Chekov swallows.

“Just because you made a mistake does not detract from the fact that you are a great man, Chekov.”

“Sir…”

“Think about it.” Kirk advises, and walks into the medical bay, where a scowling Bones is already waiting.

**Author's Note:**

> visit me on [tumblr!](http://marnz.tumblr.com/) prompts welcome.


End file.
